When Risk Doesn't Pay

Risk can be a great thing...in fact, it's created a lot of wonderful memories in my life. But when it doesn't pay out it can feel like a punch in the stomach. Yesterday, I felt that direct hit when I was laid off from my job. It was a risk when I stuck with the company last Spring on a contractual basis. Unfortunately, the company is struggling now, so I'm back at home looking for work.

My favorite comfort foods

Specifically, my position was cut due to the financial situation at the company. Although I knew the company was struggling I had thought my blow had been dealt when my weekly hours were cut from 32 to 20 less than two weeks ago. As far as I knew I was going to continue through the end of the year with fewer hours but with a job. Unfortunately, that changed.

During my particular meeting, I was reassured that it was a decision that was made based on the company's finances and not on my performance. It was meant to be reassuring, but it was all I could do to stop from breaking down. I couldn't even concentrate on putting pen to paper to leave my personal contact information. And when the meeting finished, I was asked to leave the office without saying a word. So I took a few minutes alone, put my chin up and walked back to my desk, packed up my things discreetly and made my way out the door. But that meant that I couldn't say goodbye to my co-workers who I have become friends with over the last 9 months. I couldn't pass along my contact information or wish them luck with the remainder of the year. That was probably the hardest strain of all.

Pesto kept a vigil

What I don't think all companies understand is that some of us know it's about business. It's not personal, there are still a lot of people that are depending on companies to make good financial decisions right now so that they can keep their own jobs. But if you take away too much of the personal feel, it becomes just cold. I was left with a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. Fortunately, I know that tomorrow is a new day. Now back to my Oreos and wine...

Things to be thankful for:
- Good friends and family
- A cat that keeps me company
- Books to temporarily take me away from reality one page at a time
- Better tomorrows