Aging...It's Inevitable

Most days I still feel like I'm 21 without a care in the world (that is until I occasionally interact with someone who really is 21 and realize I'm a fool).  But other days, I start to feel my age and the pains of getting older and dealing with things that I usually classify as adult issues...death, illness, marriage, etc.  These aren't things kids deal with, and then I remember, I'm an adult now.

When I left for New Zealand I had to consider that I would miss major events while I was away:  friends getting engaged, people getting married, babies being born, and sadly people dying.  If these events happened, I would have to decide what was important to me and if I felt like I should go back.  This wouldn't be the first time I had to make this choice, but it was something I dreaded and not something I could escape. 

Three months ago my best friend called to tell me she was engaged.  We weren't in the same city back home so it would have been done over the phone anyway, but I couldn't be there to give her a huge hug of congratulations, help plan the wedding, etc....it wasn't much fun to feel like I was missing out.

Two months ago I got a call, my mom's uncle passed away.  It was unexpected.  It was extremely sad.  But it was fast, relatively painless and he lived a long life.  And I wasn't there to support my family.

Last week a friend got engaged to a guy I've never even met.  I missed the excitement, the wonder and the ups and downs of it all.  Another major milestone missed.

Yesterday I discovered that someone I know has cancer.  It's not someone I'm close to, but it's something I could identify with.  This person is my age.  Am I really at that stage in my life?  Reality was hitting hard.

This morning I found out my uncle passed away.  He was severely handicapped, after having several strokes more than 13 years ago.  My aunt diligently took care of him for many years, doing things for him that he could no longer do for himself.  Things as simple as brushing his teeth.  It could be argued that this isn't necessarily a sad thing.  It's still a death in the family and I am starting to feel myself age by the minute.

It's life.  I move on.  I'm living abroad and that's the choice I made.  I have a life of my own here, I'm making decisions based on only myself and moving around the world as the wind blows and that means that sometimes it's hard to remember I'm not 21.